Unserious postmodern paintings.

The skylark had been told, by a very serious mole in a waistcoat, that glamour required stillness and perfection. So it stood.…

The turnstone had been left behind after the last tide receded, not by accident but by design—its keeper had forgotten to re-solidify…

The jerboa had been promoted to Junior Clerk of Sub-subsection B7 after three years of flawless tail-twitching during roll call. It did…

The koel had been waiting since Tuesday for the fluorescent spell to wear off, but the attic’s old wiring had other ideas.…

The oystercatcher had been told, by a passing bureaucrat with a clipboard and no interest in birds, that optimism was a structural…

The budgerigar had agreed to the digitization only after three weeks of quiet protest involving refused seed and deliberate silence. Now, perched…

The camel had been a dromedary until last Tuesday, when the Archives of Zoological Nomenclature issued Retcon 7-B, reclassifying its second hump…

The tarsier had been staring at the same crack in the plaster for seventeen minutes when it suddenly remembered it was supposed…

The sandpiper had been promoted to Junior Clerk after three years of exemplary nest-keeping, though no one remembered assigning it the role.…

The fox had been waiting for the toast to finish for seventeen minutes. It did not blink. The teacup, filled with chamomile,…

The gazelle had been told, by a very serious-looking armadillo in a waistcoat, that beige was the new black. It believed him.…

The pratincole had published three papers on migratory thermodynamics before most fledglings left the nest. Now, it sat waiting for tenure feedback,…