Unserious postmodern paintings.

The quail had been told, long ago, that heroism required stillness and precision. It practiced daily in the empty room, waiting for…

For exactly seventeen minutes last Tuesday, the alpaca was the most talked-about creature in the city, not because it did anything remarkable,…

The skate had been left behind after the city’s annual ‘Community Mobility Awareness’ workshop, where citizens were encouraged to try alternative transit…

He had been promoted to Senior Ledger Keeper three Tuesdays ago, though no one remembered voting for it. The baboon stared at…

The ibis had been employed as a symbolic mascot for the Department of Avian Redundancy until the budget cuts came. No one…

The harrier had stopped believing in irony years ago, but the habit of performing it lingered like a bad cough. It had…

The wasp had been reliable for exactly three Tuesdays in a row — landing on the sugar spoon, avoiding the flyswatter, never…

The gar had been left there by mistake after a failed attempt at avant-garde dinner theater, where the script called for 'a…

The lizard had been told to monitor the stapler. Not to guard it, not to move it—just to monitor. So it did.…

He had been promoted to Senior Analyst three weeks ago, though no one remembered telling him. The lion adjusted his tie, stared…

The skylark had been told, by a very serious mole in a waistcoat, that glamour required stillness and perfection. So it stood.…

The turnstone had been left behind after the last tide receded, not by accident but by design—its keeper had forgotten to re-solidify…