Unserious postmodern paintings.

The gazelle had been told, by a very serious-looking armadillo in a waistcoat, that beige was the new black. It believed him.…

The pratincole had published three papers on migratory thermodynamics before most fledglings left the nest. Now, it sat waiting for tenure feedback,…

The flowerpecker had been told, long ago, that it was doomed — not by fate, but by a clerical error in the…

The monal had been told, by a very serious pheasant in a velvet waistcoat, that glamour required stillness and anxiety required visibility.…

The mayfly had decided, after careful consideration of its 24-hour lifespan, that excellence was overrated. It chose instead to hover precisely where…

The puma had agreed to the upgrade only because the warranty on its analog self had expired. Now, every movement required a…

The rosella had been casually immortal since Tuesday, though it refused to acknowledge the fact. It watched the human stir tea with…

The honeyguide had once led a child to a wild hive behind the old oak, but now, years later, it returns not…

The anchovy had been mistaken for a misplaced document during the annual archive review and, finding no one to claim it, decided…

The whelk had been left there by someone who forgot to take it home after lunch, though no one remembered bringing it…

The jaguar had been promised a spa day. Instead, it got a maintenance closet with a broken vent and a thermostat stuck…

The hoatzin had been promoted to Junior Form Inspector three weeks ago, though no one remembered voting for it. It arrived each…