Unserious postmodern paintings.

The ibis arrived on Tuesday and never left. It watches the sink with the patience of a retired civil servant. I leave…

The megapode had spent three hours selecting the waistcoat, though it did not know why. It stood in the parlour, waiting for…

The grosbeak had spent three years preparing for the Annual Avian Excellence Gala. He practiced the same three notes every Tuesday and…

The bristlebird had been deemed provisionally heroic by the Committee of Avian Affairs. Its duty was to wait in the beige room…

Arthur wondered if the rain was a choice or a condition. He had spent three hours staring at the wall, convinced that…

The yellowhammer was known for being intermittently reliable. On Tuesdays, it could predict the rain. On Thursdays, it forgot how to fly.…

Bartholomew had spent three hours adjusting his cufflinks before realizing he had nowhere to go. He remained seated in the armchair, the…

The tick did not move. It had decided that stillness was the most efficient way to end the world. It waited for…

Arthur had priced his catch too low to cover the cost of the boat. He waited in the harbour master's office to…

The sturgeon waited for the air to change. It had read a pamphlet about cross-ventilation but the latch was rusted. Every hour,…

The gala started twenty minutes ago, and Barnaby was already failing. He adjusted his bowtie, checked his reflection, and decided the left…

The walrus arrived at 9:00 AM for his appointment with the municipal licensing board. He has been waiting for three hours. The…