Unserious postmodern paintings.

The anteater arrived at three o’clock. It did not knock. It sat in the armchair and placed its snout on the teacups.…

The narwhal had been there for three Tuesdays. It did not eat or speak, but it occupied the center of the room…

The petrel spent three hours reminiscing about a squall from 1984. It sipped cold tea and remembered the precise angle of a…

The dromedary had been scheduled to arrive at precisely two o'clock, but it arrived at three-fifteen instead, which was perfectly in keeping…

Reginald had spent three weeks preparing for the gala, but the gala had been cancelled years ago. Now he sat in the…

Gerald attended the seminar on post-irony to understand if he was participating in it. He concluded that wearing a cardigan while drinking…

The kittiwake arrived on Tuesday. It did not fly; it simply appeared, damp and semi-transparent, on the counter. Gerald poured cereal and…

Gregory came to the mantis because his wife said he needed to be heard. The mantis listened without interrupting, its triangular head…

The ibis arrived on Tuesday and never left. It watches the sink with the patience of a retired civil servant. I leave…

The megapode had spent three hours selecting the waistcoat, though it did not know why. It stood in the parlour, waiting for…

The grosbeak had spent three years preparing for the Annual Avian Excellence Gala. He practiced the same three notes every Tuesday and…

The bristlebird had been deemed provisionally heroic by the Committee of Avian Affairs. Its duty was to wait in the beige room…