Unserious postmodern paintings.

The broadbill had expected more from the morning. It had imagined the teacup would be full, the fern perky, the light just…

The otter had spent three weeks calculating load-bearing capacities of riverbed silt using only pebbles and intuition. When the dam held during…

The alpaca had been told it was radiantly average, and so it stood, neither proud nor ashamed, in the room that had…

The sugar glider had spent three hours arranging the cushions by hue and texture, rejecting two for being 'slightly off.' It now…

Reginald had earned three doctorates in avian ethics, yet here he was, again, filling out Form 7B for seed reimbursement. The HR…

The zebrafish had been told, by a visiting goldfish who claimed to have read it in a book, that it was expected…

The turtle had been there since Tuesday. No one remembered bringing it in. The laundromat’s owner, Mr. Kline, had tried to mop…

The zebrafish had been selected not for rarity or color, but for its uncanny ability to appear effortlessly tasteful — a trait…

The greenshank had been told, in a memo slipped under its cage door three Tuesdays ago, that it was the radiantly average…

The veery had been told, by a retired architect who lived in the walls, that optimism was a load-bearing structure. It believed…

The pufferfish had been told the interview was at 3:00 sharp. It arrived at 2:55, puffed itself up to maximum readiness, and…

The spinetail had been waiting for the comet for seventeen years, though it had long since forgotten what a comet looked like.…