Unserious postmodern paintings.

The mullet had spent three days contemplating the nature of flow—whether it was the water moving past it, or it moving through…

The moorhen had been invited to tea by the widow who’d found it shivering on her doorstep three winters prior. It had…

The hamerkop had been told, with absolute certainty, that today was the day it would finally understand why the sock kept appearing…

The chimpanzee had spent the morning refusing praise for solving a puzzle it claimed anyone could have done, then declined a banana…

The oriole had been invited to the Duchess’s tea party under the impression it was a costume gala. It arrived three hours…

The chicken had been seasonally adjusted last Tuesday, though no one remembered scheduling it. It now stood in the break room of…

The snake had been told the house was empty. It believed this until the third night, when it heard the fridge cycle…

The canary had been waiting for someone to notice it was emotionally available. It didn’t sing. It didn’t flutter. It just sat,…

The gull had been told, repeatedly and with varying degrees of sincerity, that it was radiantly average. It believed this. It stood…

The fulvetta had been waiting for the star to blink for seventeen days. It did not blink. The bird did not move.…

The broadbill had expected more from the morning. It had imagined the teacup would be full, the fern perky, the light just…

The otter had spent three weeks calculating load-bearing capacities of riverbed silt using only pebbles and intuition. When the dam held during…