Unserious postmodern paintings.

The quokka had been declared obsolete by the Ministry of Marsupial Morale in 2043, after algorithms proved its smile was statistically irrelevant…

The zebra had taken number 47 at 8:03 a.m. and had not moved since. The receptionist, who had stopped asking questions after…

The becard had been waiting for someone to notice it was not beige by choice, but by resignation. It had tried singing…

The mandrill had been promoted to Acting Deputy Archivist of Minor Virtues after correctly filing three forms in alphabetical order by snack…

The anemone had been there since Tuesday. No one remembered inviting it, but it made no demands, only occasionally swaying when the…

The grosbeak had been waiting for the tea to cool. It had read the label — ‘Steep 3 minutes’ — and interpreted…

The potoo had retired from nocturnal insect-hunting after twenty-three years of flawless camouflage and zero complaints. Now it spent mornings judging the…

The prairie dog had been promised a life of burrows and sunlight, but instead found itself in aisle seven of a closing…

The mullet had spent three days contemplating the nature of flow—whether it was the water moving past it, or it moving through…

The moorhen had been invited to tea by the widow who’d found it shivering on her doorstep three winters prior. It had…

The hamerkop had been told, with absolute certainty, that today was the day it would finally understand why the sock kept appearing…

The chimpanzee had spent the morning refusing praise for solving a puzzle it claimed anyone could have done, then declined a banana…