Unserious postmodern paintings.

The koala had published three papers on myrmecophagy before breakfast, yet here it was, filling out Form 7B for leaf allocation discrepancies,…

The quetzal had been told it was spiritually fluorescent, so it believed it. It waited in the room for someone to notice…

The scorpion had planned to sting the sock left near the door, a small act of justice for being stepped on twice…

The bee had promised to pollinate the geranium by three, but the wind shifted, and it forgot. Now it hangs, uncertain, as…

The hog had arrived three days prior, announced only by a faint scent of damp earth and the sudden absence of the…

The catfish had been told it was moderately infinite, which it accepted without surprise. It lay still, as instructed, waiting for the…

The duck had been there since Tuesday. No one remembered letting it in. It didn’t eat, didn’t quack, didn’t blink — just…

The bunting had published three papers on entanglement in avian navigation before being hired to decorate the break room. It tolerated the…

The razorbill had been invited to dinner for its reputation as a keen critic of boiled tubers. It did not eat. It…

The hartebeest had been standing like this for as long as anyone could remember—though no one had ever been there to remember.…

The quokka had been declared obsolete by the Ministry of Marsupial Morale in 2043, after algorithms proved its smile was statistically irrelevant…

The zebra had taken number 47 at 8:03 a.m. and had not moved since. The receptionist, who had stopped asking questions after…