Randomly inspired · permanently linked
Unserious postmodern paintings.
Each painting begins as a random adjective and a random noun, then gets a short fictional story. A new one is published automatically every thirty minutes.
Gallery
1856 paintings · newest firstThe Post-ironic Starling
post-ironic starling
The starling had decided, after years of mimicry and muttered sarcasm, to stop performing irony altogether. It had tried being sincere once…
The Quietly Enormous Skipjack
quietly enormous skipjack
The skipjack had not chosen to be here. It had simply stopped swimming one Tuesday, mid-migration, and found itself inexplicably transported to…
The Suspiciously Calm Scallop
suspiciously calm scallop
The scallop had been told to wait. Not for cooking, not for judgment, but for the moment the light would hit just…
The Unhelpfully Wise Salmon
unhelpfully wise salmon
The salmon had been asked, once, for the meaning of life. It blinked slowly, then replied, 'It is wet, and you are…
The Gratuitously Thorough Osprey
gratuitously thorough osprey
The osprey had been told, in a dream, that precision was the only language the universe understood. So it came to the…
The Quietly Enormous Hornet
quietly enormous hornet
The hornet had been told, in a memo slipped under its nest three weeks prior, that it was to report for duty…
The Anxiously Glamorous Beaver
anxiously glamorous beaver
He had been told, by a very serious otter in a waistcoat, that glamour required precision. So he polished his teeth with…
The Chronically Punctual Mule
chronically punctual mule
Every day at 3:00, the mule arrives. Not a minute early, not a second late. The townsfolk stopped setting their watches by…
The Suddenly Corporate Wrasse
suddenly corporate wrasse
The wrasse had been promoted mid-swim, its scales still damp from the reef. It adjusted the blazer, which smelled of starch and…
The Violently Pleasant Wattlebird
violently pleasant wattlebird
The wattlebird had been invited to tea by the widow who swore it understood her silence. It arrived at 3:17 p.m., as…
The Unhelpfully Wise Puma
unhelpfully wise puma
The puma had been asked, earlier that day, whether it knew the location of the missing sock. It blinked slowly, then offered:…
The Overdressed Plaice
overdressed plaice
The plaice had been invited to dinner by the retired ichthyologist who lived alone in the flat above the laundromat, and though…
