Unserious postmodern paintings.

The sparrow had been told, in a dream the night before, that heroism required stillness at the exact center of things. It…

The dollarbird had been part-time messianic for exactly seventeen Tuesdays, a schedule negotiated with the landlord after the third attempted sermon disrupted…

The waterthrush had been practicing stillness for seventeen minutes when it realized it had forgotten why it began. It considered lowering its…

The myna had agreed to try digital life for a week, persuaded by a neighbor’s crow who claimed it improved singing accuracy.…

The scorpion had been left on the counter overnight by a guest who claimed it was 'just a metaphor.' By morning, it…

The seedeater had flown into the kitchen through an open window and, mistaking the laminator for a nest, perched inside while the…

The fulmar had been waiting for the kettle to whistle for seventeen minutes. It did not mind the delay—it enjoyed the quiet,…

The ferret had been translucent for exactly three days, a fact it noted with the same quiet resignation it reserved for empty…

The leopard had been asked to wait while the curator fetched the proper lighting filters. It complied, though it found the request…

The jaguar had been invited to tea, not because it was tame, but because the hostess believed politeness could override instinct. It…

The bittern had applied for thirty-seven positions this month, all in wetland conservation, none of which required standing still for hours while…

The sloth had promised itself it would move by three. It had even written it down — in crayon, on the fridge…