Unserious postmodern paintings.

The whydah had been dead for three years, though it refused to admit it. Each evening, it returned to the same hook,…

The marten had accepted the promotion three weeks prior, after a misplaced internship application and a series of increasingly confusing emails. It…

The sardine had been laminated by mistake during a late-night office supply run, when the intern confused the fish for a misplaced…

The prion had been waiting for someone to open the window for seventeen years. It didn’t mind the stale air—it had grown…

The paddlefish had spent three weeks rehearsing this moment in the mirror of its aquarium, practicing the exact angle of its head…

The koel had been there for three days, though no one remembered inviting it. It did not sing, nor did it flee…

The raccoon had not meant to stay. It had come for the jam, found the tea, and decided, after three sips, that…

The mayfly had lived exactly twenty-four hours, and in its final hour, it believed the water drop was salvation. It had read,…

The sea cucumber had been invited to the soirée not for its conversation, which was minimal and mostly comprised of quiet expulsions,…

The nene had been promoted to Junior Liaison Officer after three years of exemplary form-filling and silent attendance at budget briefings. It…

The flamingo had been a heron last Tuesday, but the committee voted overnight to reclassify it as a flamingo with improved posture…

The horse had been told, once, that oats were a form of currency. It believed this for three winters, refusing hay and…