Unserious postmodern paintings.

The panther had volunteered for the lamination trial after seeing a brochure promising 'eternal dignity in high-traffic zones.' It now regrets the…

The newt had been waiting for the vent to be fixed for seventeen days, though no one had come. It did not…

The anteater had not left the chair in seventeen hours. It had watched three documentaries about soil pH, argued with a bot…

The bass had expected more from the day. Not excitement, not adventure—just a sense that something, anything, might have justified the effort…

The osprey had been waiting for exactly seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds, having calculated the precise moment the fish would surface based…

The dragon had been translucent for three days, and no one knew why. The zookeeper left a bowl of raw chicken beside…

The duck had been promoted last Tuesday, though no one remembered voting for it. It arrived at 8:03 a.m., adjusted its tie,…

The moose had spent three hours practicing humility in front of a mirror made of still water, but the reflection kept laughing.…

The ant had promised to deliver a crumb of sugar to the nest by noon. It arrived at the designated speck of…

The corncrake had been waiting for the kettle to whistle for seventeen minutes. It had counted each silence between the ticks of…

The emu had been invited to breakfast for its reputed wisdom. It did not offer advice, nor comfort, nor even a opinion…

The wasp had been told, in a dream delivered by a moth who claimed to have once been a prophet, that it…