Unserious postmodern paintings.

The rook had applied for a zoning variance three weeks prior, convinced its nest—built from a bent coat rack and discarded stapler—…

The midge had spent three days perfecting its ensemble — a micro-silk tie woven from discarded thread, a bowtie folded from a…

The sunfish had been on sale for $3.99, marked down from $12.99 because it was 'slightly less buoyant than expected.' The owner,…

The komodo dragon had been invited to tea by mistake. It arrived punctually, bowed slightly, and accepted the Earl Grey without comment.…

The potoo had retired from nocturnal insect-hunting after a particularly disappointing season of moths that refused to fly in straight lines. Now…

Gary had been promoted to Senior Hedgehog in the Department of Minor Nuisances three weeks prior, a title that came with a…

The bunting was hung by a woman who believed celebrations required no reason, only presence. She left three years ago, taking nothing…

The tanager had been nominated for heroism by a committee of sparrows who valued enthusiasm over outcome. It had not saved anyone,…

The mite had earned three doctorates in microscopic theology, quantum lichenology, and the ethics of dust accumulation before realizing no one would…

The toucan had spent seventeen years practicing sincerity in front of a mirror, convinced that authenticity required absolute stillness and unflinching eye…

The auklet had been invited to tea not for its wit or charm, but because its tastefulness was considered a rare and…

The cisticola had been mistaken for a paralegal for three weeks. It did not correct anyone. It simply arrived each morning, perched…