Unserious postmodern paintings.

The capybara had been invited to the soirée not for its intellect, but for its impeccable tailoring — a rarity among rodents.…

The eland had been seasonally adjusted last Tuesday, per Facilities Memo 7B, to better align with the building’s thermal inertia and reduce…

The terrapin had been invited to tea by mistake — the hostess, nearsighted and fond of eccentric nomenclature, had mistaken its shell…

He had graduated top of his class in scarab engineering, published three papers on optimal ball trajectory, yet here he was, calculating…

The great tit had been promoted to Junior Clerk of Avian Correspondence three Tuesdays ago, though no one had told it. It…

The bee had been told it was radiantly average, and so it believed it. It did not strive to be extraordinary, nor…

The tiger had been translucent for three weeks, ever since it licked the wrong teapot. It didn’t mind—no one else noticed either,…

The dotterel had been promoted to Senior Observational Liaison three weeks prior, though no one had told it what that meant. It…

The koala had been waiting for the mailman since Tuesday. It had read the pamphlet on eucalyptus hybridization three times, memorized the…

The impala had been asked, three days prior, to advise on the quarterly budget. It had blinked slowly, then said, 'The numbers…

The jerboa had been served three weeks prior, but the court had forgotten to specify whether ‘legally distinct’ meant taxonomically, jurisdictional, or…

The nene had been waiting for its permit renewal since Tuesday. It had filled out Form 7B in triplicate, submitted it to…