Unserious postmodern paintings.

The lyrebird had been told, by a very serious parrot in a waistcoat, that it was doomed to mimic only the sound…

The wryneck had earned three doctorates in ornithology, linguistics, and forgotten tax codes, yet found itself repeatedly overlooked for tenure at the…

The tiger had stopped roaring years ago, not from age but from boredom. Now he reads the classifieds for gardeners and occasionally…

The koel had been legally distinct for exactly seventeen minutes when it decided the armchair was the only place in the house…

The nene had been a goose yesterday. Today, it is a nene — not by evolution, but by decree. The retcon arrived…

The riflebird had been told, repeatedly and with gentle insistence, that it was radiantly average. It believed this. It did not preen,…

The eagle had been waiting for three days for the janitor to notice it was not a statue. It had tried blinking…

The knee had been promoted last Tuesday. No one remembered voting for it, but HR had issued the memo: 'Effective immediately, Knee-7…

The crossbill had agreed to listen, not because it understood, but because the silence had become too heavy to ignore. It had…

The char had been waiting for the kettle to whistle for seventeen minutes. It had counted each silence between the ticks of…

The sloth had been this way for three days, ever since it drank from the wrong puddle near the mossy stone. It…

The dove had been told, repeatedly and politely, that it was the most tasteful creature in the known world. It did not…