Unserious postmodern paintings.

The sugar glider had spent three weeks preparing for the garden party. It practiced its posture in the mirror and selected the…

The bellbird had been hired to streamline operations. It spent its mornings tapping the clipboard against the dowel and its afternoons staring…

The gull had been told that optimism was a structural property, like a beam or a load-bearing wall. It decided to embody…

The beetle had reached the middle of the hallway and decided that this was sufficient. It did not seek the kitchen or…

The bird waited for the paperwork to arrive. It had spent three years applying for a permit to exist in the beige…

For three weeks, Gerald was the most discussed gnu in the city. He attended galas, gave interviews to local magazines, and signed…

Gerald found the cardigan in a drawer and decided it suited his temperament. He sat in the armchair and sipped tea while…

Gregory applied for the position three times. He was hired not for his bioluminescence, but because he was already sitting in the…

The partridge was declared provisionally heroic at dawn. No one remembered why, but the certificate hung in the hallway. It waited on…

Reginald had won the Regional Prize for Modesty three years running, though he refused to mention it. He sat in the parlor,…

The fish had three doctorates and a pilot’s license. He spent his days calculating depreciation for a firm that sold staplers. His…

Reginald had been promoted to Senior Coordinator of Interdepartmental Synergy three weeks ago. He did not know what that meant, but the…