Unserious postmodern paintings.

The quelea had spent three days deciding whether to land. It had flown past the saucer seven times, each approach aborted by…

The pewee had inherited the monocle from its great-aunt, who insisted it was the only way to properly judge the thread count…

The whinchat had been told, by a passing hedgehog with a clipboard, that it was moderately infinite — a designation it accepted…

The crow had been invited to the soirée not for its wit, but for its plumage, which the hostess insisted was 'avant-garde.'…

The dunnock had been promoted after the previous manager vanished during a routine stapler audit. It did not understand promotions, only that…

The turaco had waited three days for the mango to ripen just so — not too soft, not too firm — and…

The gorilla had been told the newspaper was a guide to modern etiquette, so it read it daily, convinced that folding socks…

The bowerbird had spent three weeks arranging bottle caps, broken watch faces, and a single blue sock into a precise spiral on…

The muskrat had been employed for exactly seventeen minutes before the company realized it had no job description for a muskrat. It…

The woodlark had sworn, upon finding the teacup abandoned by the last tenant, to never let it grow cold. It had rehearsed…

The kakapo had been declared provisionally heroic after attempting to climb a tree to retrieve a lost acorn for a shrew, though…

The cotinga had spent three days refusing to fly, insisting the teacup was a gift from the wind and that accepting it…