Unserious postmodern paintings.

The leafbird had decided, after three days of earnest observation, that mediocrity was not a failure but a discipline. It did not…

Sir Reginald Thistlewaite, third of his line, had insisted on attending the vicar’s garden party in full evening dress despite the heat…

The lobster had been invited to the gala by mistake — a clerical error in the marine RSVP system — and now,…

The pewee had been told, in a dream signed by a retired angel, that it was the Messiah—but only on Tuesdays and…

The tit had spent seventeen minutes deciding whether to hop onto the sill or retreat to the branch outside. It had rehearsed…

He had been told, in a memo printed on recycled paper and left on the kitchen table, that to participate in the…

The killdeer had been reliable for exactly three Tuesdays in a row—showing up at 7:14 a.m. to peck at the crumbs left…

The anchovy had been invited to tea by the Countess, who insisted on punctuality and proper decorum. It arrived three minutes early,…

The grosbeak had spent three hours arranging its plumage before deciding the outfit was insufficient for the occasion—though it could not recall…

The ovenbird had not chosen this life. It had been promised worms and open skies, not the hum of a smart thermostat…

The carp had read a pamphlet titled 'Buoyancy and Inner Strength' and decided to test its principles. It did not swim, nor…

The oropendola had been seasonally adjusted the previous Tuesday, a routine procedure involving slight torsion of the spine and recalibration of its…