Unserious postmodern paintings.

The heron had read the sign that said 'Free Lunch' and assumed it applied to all birds, regardless of species or dietary…

The osprey had been promoted to Senior Permissions Coordinator three weeks prior, though no one could recall voting for it. It arrived…

The buttonquail had been waiting since Tuesday. Not for anything specific — just for the quiet to settle, for the teacup to…

The jaguarundi had passed the bar exam three years prior, yet still found itself drafting motions for squirrels disputing acorn ownership in…

The coot had been hired for its ability to sit still and stare at spreadsheets, a skill it possessed in abundance. It…

The horse had been waiting for the toast to cool since 3:17 p.m., though it had no idea how it knew the…

The rook had been following a trail of breadcrumbs that led nowhere, each crumb placed with deliberate, inexplicable precision. It paused here,…

The kingfisher had stopped believing in irony the day it realized no one was watching to laugh. It had tried diving for…

The dunlin had been told, by a passing tern with questionable authority, that it was provisionally heroic—a title granted not for action,…

The mesite had not flown in seventeen years, not because it could not, but because it remembered too clearly the taste of…

The parakeet had learned politeness not from kindness, but from fear—fear of the silent, watchful portraits that lined the walls, their eyes…

The cotinga had been laminated by mistake during a routine office supply audit, its feathers sealed under thick, clear polymer while it…