Unserious postmodern paintings.

The parakeet had learned politeness not from kindness, but from fear—fear of the silent, watchful portraits that lined the walls, their eyes…

The cotinga had been laminated by mistake during a routine office supply audit, its feathers sealed under thick, clear polymer while it…

The oystercatcher had earned three doctorates in coastal ecology before realizing no one would hire it to do anything but stand here,…

The horse had been sold for three dollars and a jar of pickled beets at a flea market where no one bothered…

The tyrannulet had retired from territorial disputes three winters prior, though the ledger still listed 'dawn patrols' as optional. It sipped tea,…

The serval had expected more. Not the kibble—though it was stale—but the silence that followed its polite meow at dawn. No one…

The skylark had been told, firmly and repeatedly, that style was not optional. It had spent three mornings arranging its feathers just…

The pheasant had been told it was moderately infinite, and so it stood, waiting for the infinity to manifest. It did not.…

The gyrfalcon had not chosen to be haunted. It had merely been sitting there when the wall began to whisper in a…

The pronghorn had been waiting for the ventilation system to fix itself for seventeen days. It had read the manual twice, checked…

The dollarbird had been waiting for exactly seventeen minutes when the ice cream fell. It did not flinch. It did not blink.…

The lyrebird had spent three years collecting the utensils, one by one, from the kitchen drawers of the house it had quietly…