Unserious postmodern paintings.

The oyster had been promoted to Junior Clerk in the Department of Maritime Formalities three weeks prior, a decision still under review…

The crocodile had stopped complaining about the ventilation three weeks ago, realizing no one was listening. It had tried nudging the vent…

The parrotbill had been invited to tea by the Countess, who mistook its molting feathers for a sartorial cry for help. It…

The plover had been practicing its oration for the Annual Avian Eloquence Symposium for seventeen days, refusing to eat until it could…

The ocelot had known for three days that the ceiling would collapse at 4:17 p.m. It had measured the crack with its…

The mongoose had spent the morning listening. Not to the radio, not to the neighbor’s cat, but to the quiet hum of…

The komodo dragon had been hired last Tuesday for data entry, though no one remembered why. It typed slowly, deliberately, each keystroke…

The bee had retired from pollination after thirty-seven seasons, citing 'diminishing returns and too many daisies.' Now it sips lukewarm chamomile, contemplates…

The clownfish had been told it was legally distinct, though no one explained from what. It spent its days testing the boundaries…

The warthog had not moved in seventeen hours, its hooves sticky with dried syrup, its feed filled with arguments about the ontology…

The quail had been told, by a passing squirrel with questionable authority, that today was the day it would gently cause a…

The bird had been served a subpoena the previous Tuesday for allegedly imitating the mayor’s ringtone during a zoning hearing. It denied…