Unserious postmodern paintings.

The chickadee had been waiting for the stars to align for three weeks. It had read the pamphlet. It had done the…

The cardinal had earned three doctorates in ornithology, behavioral economics, and avian urban planning before realizing no journal would publish its work…

The mule had been left there three days ago, not as punishment, but because the stableboy forgot to untie the rope after…

The wolf had come in for tea, as it did every Tuesday, though no one had invited it. It sat quietly, waiting…

The skua had been promised a promotion. Not in rank, but in snacks. It had waited three days by the break room…

The swan had been told, repeatedly and with increasing urgency, that optimism was a structural flaw. It had read the manuals, attended…

The jay had been seasonally adjusted every October for seventeen years, a quiet ritual performed by the retired ornithologist who lived there.…

The ibex had agreed to the upgrade only because the mountain Wi-Fi was worse than dial-up. Now, trapped in the facility’s ‘Analog…

The pipit had passed the bar exam three years prior, though no one had thought to inform the court. It arrived each…

The donkey had been told, long ago, that it was neither the best nor the worst at anything. It accepted this. Each…

The puma had watched the documentary every Tuesday for seventeen years, not because it remembered the jungle, but because the narrator’s voice…

The halibut has been immortal since Tuesday. It does not remember how, nor does it care. It watches the steam rise from…