Unserious postmodern paintings.

The jackal had been obsolete for seventeen years, three months, and fourteen days—though it kept track only loosely, preferring the quiet rhythm…

For precisely seventeen minutes, the shrew was the most celebrated mammal in the municipal archives, honored for its uncanny ability to locate…

The razorbill had been deemed provisionally heroic after successfully retrieving a lost sock from behind the radiator — an act witnessed only…

The gopher had been following the scent of roasted peanuts through a ventilation shaft when it emerged into the attic, bewildered by…

For exactly seventeen minutes, the gnu was famous. Not for anything it did, but because a wildlife photographer snapped it mid-yawn during…

The cuckooshrike had earned three doctorates, published in Nature, and declined a Nobel nomination to focus on refining its spreadsheets. It now…

The goat had been there for three days, according to the monk who brought the water each morning and left without speaking.…

The caracara had been told the books contained answers, but none of them opened. It waited for the clock to stop, believing…

The crayfish had been there since Tuesday. No one remembered putting it there. It didn’t move when the cat sniffed it, didn’t…

The duiker had waited all morning for the thunderstorm the elder antelopes swore would break by noon, the one that would cool…

The jacamar arrived precisely seventeen minutes after the appointed hour, not out of rudeness but because it had paused to adjust its…

The whydah had been moderately infinite for exactly seventeen minutes when the curator entered, checked his watch, and noted the duration in…