Unserious postmodern paintings.

The deer had spent the morning practicing humility in front of a mirror made of still water, but found it too boastful…

The pangolin had applied for three jobs this week, all in logistics, all rejected for 'insufficient keratin density.' It now scales spreadsheets…

The sparrow had been watching the same crack in the ceiling for seventeen days, convinced it was a slow-moving constellation only visible…

The dipper had been casually immortal since 1973, though it never bothered to mention it. It preferred quiet mornings, lukewarm tea, and…

The groundhog checked its shadow again. No prediction this quarter—just the usual: overcast outlook with a 70% chance of continued stagnation. It…

The okapi had been there since Tuesday. No one remembered when it arrived, or if it had ever left. It drank tea…

The hornero had spent three years perfecting its camouflage, not to evade predators, but to avoid being asked for opinions. It had…

The mink had been promoted three weeks ago after correctly filing Form 7B in triplicate. It still wasn’t sure why it was…

The pratincole had been told, by a very sincere intern with a clipboard, that today was the day it would be promoted…

The koala had been waiting for the 3:00 PM tea service since 2:58 AM, having calibrated its internal clock to the atomic…

The lapwing had been told, by a very serious man in a badge, that formal attire was required for the Inter-Species Negotiation…

The squid had been invited to the ambassador’s ball but arrived three hours early, mistaking the invitation for a summons. It adjusted…