Unserious postmodern paintings.

The porpoise had once leapt through waves with the pod, but now it drifted in the quiet of a rented apartment, remembering…

The seahorse had been invited to the opening of 'Marine Menswear: Evolution or Error?' and, against its better judgment, accepted. It spent…

The wren had retired from nest-building after thirty-seven seasons, citing 'diminishing returns on twig investment.' Now it passed afternoons supervising the knitting…

The coal tit had been waiting for the sugar cube to reach the exact state of softness it remembered from childhood, though…

The reindeer had been there since 1987, when the family stopped believing in magic and started believing in storage solutions. It never…

The turtle had been a turtle for exactly 47 years, until yesterday, when the Committee for Ontological Consistency issued Retcon Directive 7-B,…

The ptarmigan had been invited to the annual Feathered Formal, but missed the train and took refuge in the attic of its…

The sheep had been offered praise for its quiet dignity three times that morning. Each time, it lowered its gaze and shifted…

The whistler had once been renowned for its melodies, but after the landlord raised the rent and the birdseed shop closed, it…

The godwit had been told, in a dream the night before, that today was the day it would finally understand why it…

The blackbird had been famous for exactly seventeen minutes after a local news crew mistook its habitual dawn singing for a rare…

The waterbuck had been told, by a passing heron who claimed to have read it in a moss-covered scroll, that heroism resided…