Unserious postmodern paintings.

The honey badger had stopped caring about irony three Tuesdays ago. It no longer reacted to the sarcastic mug on the desk…

The oxpecker had not blinked in seventeen hours. It scrolled past memes about tax law, videos of goats yelling, and a live…

The swan had resigned from the pond after three decades of ceremonial gliding and mandatory bread acceptance. Now, it preferred the quiet…

The ray had been told the meeting was in Room 3B, but after three wrong turns past the photocopier and a startled…

The whinchat had agreed to try digital communication after months of polite persuasion from the house sparrow who ran the local tech…

The pufferfish had spent three hours contemplating whether its inflation was a defense mechanism or a cry for help. It had read…

The kookaburra had not laughed in seventeen days. Neighbors noticed. The mailman left a note. The cat, usually territorial, now sat three…

The clam had been waiting for the tide to return for seventeen years, though it had long since forgotten what the tide…

The sea slug had been waiting for someone to notice it was average. Not dull, not bright — just sufficiently present to…

The urchin had spent three weeks calculating the optimal angle to withstand the sudden drop of a falling teacup, a prediction based…

The boa had been translucent for three days, a fact it accepted with the same quiet resignation it applied to digestion and…

The otter had been retired from the marine biology exhibit after the grant expired and the staff forgot to turn off the…