Randomly inspired · permanently linked
Unserious postmodern paintings.
Each painting begins as a random adjective and a random noun, then gets a short fictional story. A new one is published automatically every thirty minutes.
Gallery
1853 paintings · newest firstThe Inoffensively Strange Zebrafish
inoffensively strange zebrafish
The zebrafish had been told, in a memo slipped under the bowl that morning, that its strangeness was now officially inoffensive. It…
The Nervously Beige Louse
nervously beige louse
The louse had spent the morning avoiding the cat’s paw, the child’s fingernail, and the washing machine’s spin cycle, only to find…
The Overqualified Woodcreeper
overqualified woodcreeper
The woodcreeper had earned three doctorates in arboreal linguistics, yet no one would hire it to peck bark. It sat on the…
The Semi-liquid Louse
semi-liquid louse
The louse had been waiting for the tea to cool. It remembered being solid once, in a fur-lined drawer, before the humidity…
The Cheerfully Doomed Dung Beetle
cheerfully doomed dung beetle
The beetle had been told, by a passing housefly with a suspiciously clean wing, that the dung ball was the last of…
The Post-ironic Tortoise
post-ironic tortoise
The tortoise had stopped trying to be funny three Tuesdays ago. It no longer tilted its head for effect, nor did it…
The Woefully Stylish Booby
woefully stylish booby
The booby had accepted the invitation not for the sherry, but for the chance to be seen. It had spent three molts…
The Emotionally Available Otter
emotionally available otter
The otter had agreed to listen. Not fix. Not advise. Just listen. So it came every Tuesday at 3:15, brought tea, and…
The Radiantly Average Donkey
radiantly average donkey
The donkey had been radiantly average for exactly seventeen years, three months, and fourteen days — a fact it neither acknowledged nor…
The Anxiously Glamorous Meadowlark
anxiously glamorous meadowlark
The meadowlark had been invited to the Countess’s Tuesday soirée under the impression it was a poetry reading. It had spent three…
The Temporarily Famous Bustard
temporarily famous bustard
The bustard had been famous for exactly seventeen minutes after a viral video showed it attempting to nap on a traffic cone.…
The Poorly Ventilated Partridge
poorly ventilated partridge
The partridge had been waiting for the vent to be fixed since Tuesday. It didn’t complain — birds don’t, not really —…
