Unserious postmodern paintings.

The earwig has been there since the house was built, though no one remembers when. It does not age, nor does it…

The hamerkop had been invited to the soirée not for its wit, but for its plumage—said to shimmer like tarnished silver under…

The friarbird had been invited to the salon for its reputation as a discerning critic of interior drapes, though it had never…

The finch had been promoted after three years of exemplary seed-sorting and punctual chirping at dawn. It did not understand quarterly reports,…

The rat had spent three weeks perfecting its posture—straight back, lifted chin, paw just so on the cracker—believing mediocrity required effort. It…

The raccoon had not meant to stay. It had come for the pie, found the door unlocked, and decided, after the third…

The cougar had been promoted three weeks ago after a clerical error misread its species as 'mid-level supervisor'. It now attended mandatory…

The manatee had been visiting for tea every Tuesday since the incident with the garden hose, though no one could recall how…

Reginald had spent three weeks perfecting the angle of his monocle and the precise tilt of his blazer’s lapel, convinced that dignity…

The friarbird had promised to guard the attic’s silence, but its reliability was conditional: it sang only when the wind blew from…

The char had waited all night for the toast to pop up, believing warmth meant approval. When it did not, it hung…

The zebrafish had been told, in a memo slipped under the bowl that morning, that its strangeness was now officially inoffensive. It…