Unserious postmodern paintings.

The hawk had expected a thermals seminar at noon, but the schedule was moved without notice. It waited on the perch, reviewing…

The roadrunner had been running for seventeen hours and thirteen minutes, according to the cracked digital watch it had stolen from a…

The vole had been promoted three weeks ago after correctly filing Form 7-B in triplicate, a feat unmatched in Vole Borough Records…

The iguana had been a character in a children’s book about jungle explorers until last Tuesday, when the publisher, citing ‘narrative consistency,’…

The woodcreeper had promised to arrive at noon, sharp, to inspect the rafters for structural integrity. It arrived at 12:03, blinked once,…

Dr. Thaddeus P. Finch, PhD in Theoretical Primatology from Oxbridge, had published three landmark papers before breakfast. Now, at 3:17 a.m., he…

The meerkat had promised to balance the ledger by noon. It did not. Instead, it arrived at 11:47, stared at the columns…

The zebra had spent three hours practicing its sincerity in front of the mirror, rehearsing the exact tilt of its head and…

The redwing had been invited to tea by the widow who lived alone in the third-floor flat above the laundromat. It arrived…

Reginald had believed elegance was a matter of cut, not conscience. He’d traded mud wallows for mahogany, rooting for vintage cufflinks instead…

The grebe had been promised retirement after thirty years of loyal service in the municipal pond surveillance unit. No one came to…

The chough had been famous for exactly seventeen minutes — the time it took a distracted curator to hang it upside down…