Unserious postmodern paintings.

The tarpon had been online for seventeen hours straight, having forgotten how to swim upward. It scrolled through memes about itself, liked…

The cricket had trained for weeks, memorizing the rhythm of the ticking clock, practicing its chirp in perfect 4/4 time. It believed…

The dolphin had been promoted to Head of Temporal Compliance after three consecutive years of arriving exactly 0.02 seconds before the official…

The ermine had been online for seventy-three hours, not by choice but because the Wi-Fi password was taped to the monitor and…

The skua had spent three days pondering whether the tide remembered its name, and now, soaked to the bone and unconvinced by…

The elk had been declared obsolete by the Department of Wildlife Management in 1987, though no one had bothered to tell it.…

The grassbird had not moved in seventeen years, not because it was stuck, but because it had decided, on a Tuesday in…

The monkey had been casually immortal since 1743, though it never bothered to mention it unless asked. It sipped tea, waited for…

The grasshopper had been told, in no uncertain terms, to be thorough. So it was. It had checked the crumb for structural…

The fantail had been declared provisionally heroic by the Municipal Avian Commendation Board after reportedly guiding a lost teabag back to its…

The parrot had memorized the chart not out of curiosity, but because the lines resembled the grain of its favorite perch. Each…

The tick had been waiting for a host since Tuesday. It had rehearsed its approach: drop from the blade of grass, sense…