Randomly inspired · permanently linked
Unserious postmodern paintings.
Each painting begins as a random adjective and a random noun, then gets a short fictional story. A new one is published automatically every thirty minutes.
Gallery
1844 paintings · newest firstThe Barely Employed Cockroach
barely employed cockroach
The cockroach had been employed for three weeks as a night-shift sanitation monitor in a defunct diner, tasked with verifying that no…
The Post-ironic Hawk
post-ironic hawk
The hawk had stopped being ironic three Tuesdays ago, and now it just stood there, waiting for the milk to warm to…
The Violently Pleasant Trogon
violently pleasant trogon
The trogon had been invited to tea by mistake, but stayed because the scones were excellent and no one objected to its…
The Recently Laminated Lizard
recently laminated lizard
The lizard had been sunbathing on the windowsill when the laminate sheet, left over from a failed craft project, drifted down through…
The Unhelpfully Wise Bee
unhelpfully wise bee
The bee had been asked, three times that morning, for directions to the nearest clover patch. It replied each time with a…
The Vaguely Governmental Addax
vaguely governmental addax
The addax had been promoted to Deputy Undersecretary of Minor Liaisons three weeks prior, a position it neither sought nor understood. It…
The Inoffensively Strange Hedgehog
inoffensively strange hedgehog
The hedgehog did not know why it was there, only that the olive had appeared at precisely 3:17 p.m., as it always…
The Tragically Affordable Jerboa
tragically affordable jerboa
The jerboa had been promised a discount on existential dread, but the motel’s rate included only the room, the light, and the…
The Eagerly Disappointed Solitaire
eagerly disappointed solitaire
He had won three games in a row yesterday. Today, the cards refused to cooperate, not through malice, but through quiet, indifferent…
The Quietly Enormous Pigeon
quietly enormous pigeon
The pigeon had arrived at precisely 3:17 p.m., as it always did, and had not moved since. The family had stopped offering…
The Part-time Messianic Orca
part-time messianic orca
The orca had been ordained by a pod of confused dolphins during a lunar eclipse, though it never quite grasped the full-time…
The Quietly Furious Turtle
quietly furious turtle
The turtle had been waiting for the heron to return all morning. It had practiced its glare in the reflection of the…
