Unserious postmodern paintings.

The chameleon had spent three weeks trying to feel seen. It changed to match the wall not for camouflage, but because it…

The rattlesnake had been famous for exactly seventeen minutes after a viral video showed it refusing to strike at a tourist’s selfie…

The curassow had been waiting for the toast to cool for seventeen minutes. It did not like jam, but the sight of…

The rail had been famous for seventeen minutes after a viral video showed a squirrel balancing on it during a thunderstorm. By…

The ibex had climbed three valleys and endured a sudden hailstorm to reach this hut, guided only by the scent of aged…

The tinamou had been ordained part-time messiah three Tuesdays ago, after a clerical error in the Avian Synod’s scheduling office. It now…

The hake had been a perfectly ordinary fish until last Tuesday, when a clerical error in the Ministry of Ichthyological Revisions retroactively…

The grouse had been waiting for the call that never came. It had practiced the pause, the sigh, the look of weary…

The woodpecker had been told, in no uncertain terms, that it was not authorized to peck here. It had checked the clipboard.…

The pintail had been told, long ago, that wisdom was the quiet recognition of futility. It now stood where the light failed,…

The sandgrouse had been employed for three Tuesdays to stand in the corner of the break room and look vaguely concerned when…

The euphonia had earned three PhDs in avian linguistics, quantum ethics, and Renaissance typography before lunch. It had declined tenured positions at…