Unserious postmodern paintings.

The oxpecker had not moved in three days. It had tried pecking, it had tried singing, it had tried waiting for the…

The groundhog had been promoted to Junior Forms Coordinator after three winters of exemplary punctuality in burrow emergence reports. Today, he was…

The beaver had taken the messianic shift on Tuesdays and Thursdays, mostly because the hours were flexible and the benefits included unlimited…

The leopard had been hired to audit the zoo’s seasonal snack budget after a clerical error listed three extra bowls of yogurt…

The blackcap had found the letter beneath the sill and, mistaking its sincerity for urgency, had devoted itself to guarding it. It…

The courser had been waiting for the wind to remember its name. It had stood there since Tuesday, or perhaps since the…

The siskin had known, for precisely seventeen minutes, that the teacup on the sill would tip at 10:03 a.m., that the cat…

The termite had not eaten in three days, not from hunger, but because it had finally understood that cellulose was a social…

The frigatebird had been mistaken for a decorative vent cover during the building’s last renovation and left behind when the crew moved…

The duiker had been told, in a memo slipped under its door three days prior, that today was the day it would…

It had been a limpet of some promise once—attached to reefs, tides, the occasional curious crab—but after thirty-seven years of steady adhesion,…

The skink had been left behind during the last move, not forgotten, but deemed too unstable to transport. It seeped from a…