Unserious postmodern paintings.

The titmouse had been invited to the annual Avian Sartorial Symposium, but arrived three hours early due to a misread timetable. While…

The phalarope had been told, by a memo slipped under the door at 3:17 a.m., that today was the day it must…

The shoebill had earned three postdoctoral fellowships in wetland ecology before being hired as a junior data entry clerk at the Ministry…

The woodcreeper had been invited in for tea, though no one remembered sending the invitation. It sat, not out of comfort, but…

The monal had learned politeness from a retired etiquette tutor who lived in the walls. It bowed before every crumb, thanked the…

The troupial had been chosen not for beauty, but for its uncanny ability to remain utterly still while the world around it…

The longspur had been waiting for three days. It did not know why it glowed, only that the light made the dust…

The lionfish had wandered in through the open window during a thunderstorm, mistaking the steam from the shower for a coral reef’s…

The jay had been watching the teacup for seventeen minutes, convinced it was a slow-moving predator. When the crumb appeared — offered,…

The rhinoceros had been translucent for exactly seventeen minutes, a condition it neither understood nor protested. It had come in for milk,…

The oxpecker had not moved in three days. It had tried pecking, it had tried singing, it had tried waiting for the…

The groundhog had been promoted to Junior Forms Coordinator after three winters of exemplary punctuality in burrow emergence reports. Today, he was…