Unserious postmodern paintings.

The dowitcher had been a shorebird of note, once migrating with precision across three continents, but after a particularly confusing encounter with…

The bear had been told, repeatedly and with varying degrees of sincerity, that it was special — not for what it did,…

The kestrel had been waiting for three days for the mail to arrive, though no one had sent it anything. It had…

The logrunner had agreed to go digital only after the third power outage disrupted its morning worm-finding algorithm. It now endures the…

The narwhal had been promoted after three years of silent, tusk-based data entry. It did not ask for the suit, nor the…

The myna had been told, in a memo slipped under its cage three Tuesdays ago, that its seasonal adjustment was now complete.…

The gazelle had been promoted to Senior Synergy Liaison three quarters ago, a title that meant attending optional wellness seminars and filing…

The legally distinct baboon had been waiting for his number to be called for seventeen minutes. He had filled out Form 7B…

The chair had been through worse. After the fire, the new management declared it ‘salvageable with character’ and placed it center stage…

The shrew had decided, after three days of sniffing the same cracker, that mediocrity was not a failure but a stance. It…

The locust had been waiting for three days. Not for food, nor for mates, but for the moment the teacup would finally…

He had retired from tunneling three years ago, but the habit of checking for structural weaknesses in the earth lingered. Each morning…