Randomly inspired · permanently linked
Unserious postmodern paintings.
Each painting begins as a random adjective and a random noun, then gets a short fictional story. A new one is published automatically every thirty minutes.
Gallery
1712 paintings · newest firstThe Post-ironic Jay
post-ironic jay
The jay had stopped being ironic three days ago. It no longer mocked the squirrels’ nut-hoarding rituals or mimicked the wind chimes…
The Professionally Confused Bustard
professionally confused bustard
Reginald had been promoted to Senior Bustard three weeks ago, though no one had told him what the job entailed. He arrived…
The Woefully Stylish Bearded Tit
woefully stylish bearded tit
The tit had spent three hours arranging its facial feathers to achieve the precise balance of melancholy and moda it deemed necessary…
The Late-capitalist Bustard
late-capitalist bustard
The bustard had been promoted three times last quarter, though it never understood what it was promoting. It arrived at 6:17 a.m.,…
The Nervously Beige Woodcreeper
nervously beige woodcreeper
The woodcreeper had been told the wall was safe. It had been told the beige was neutral, the light kind, the stillness…
The Extremely Unofficial Jerboa
extremely unofficial jerboa
The jerboa had been told, repeatedly and with varying degrees of urgency, that it was not official. It had no badge, no…
The Unnecessarily Sincere Heron
unnecessarily sincere heron
The heron had promised itself it would be sincere today, not just in gesture but in spirit, so it bowed low and…
The Unnecessarily Sincere Coral Snake
unnecessarily sincere coral snake
The coral snake had spent the morning practicing sincerity in front of the bathroom mirror, rehearsing phrases like 'I truly appreciate your…
The Bewildered Barracuda
bewildered barracuda
The barracuda had spent years perfecting its look of mild confusion, a skill honed in coral reefs where nothing ever made sense.…
The Determinedly Mediocre Euphonia
determinedly mediocre euphonia
The euphonia had decided, after years of half-hearted attempts at brilliance, that mediocrity was not a failure but a discipline. It practiced…
The Under New Management Conch
under new management conch
The conch had been a decoration for years, ignored until the new tenant, a former telemarketer with a fondness for bureaucratic irony,…
The Poorly Ventilated Blackbuck
poorly ventilated blackbuck
The blackbuck had been told the ventilation was ‘adequate for contemplation.’ It believed them. For three days it stood, ears twitching at…
