Unserious postmodern paintings.

Arthur had painted everything beige to match his fur. He sat perfectly still, clutching the dying daisy he had bought that morning.…

The zebra arrived on a Tuesday. It did not walk into the gallery; it simply occupied the wall, its body stretching into…

Arthur had prepared the mangoes with surgical precision. He had waited for three hours, practicing his expression of mild anticipation. When the…

Gregory had been waiting for an apology for three years. He found the lizard in the accounting department, sitting perfectly still and…

Henrietta had the dress fitted three times. The pearls were real, though they chafed her neck. She stood on the velvet stool…

The serin had been told that dignity required fabric. It spent three hours adjusting the waistcoat, which pinched its wings, and five…

Reginald had been promoted to Senior Compliance Analyst three weeks ago. He did not understand what compliance meant, nor how to use…

The hawk waited for the air to move. It had been three days since the window opened a crack, and the room…

The marsh tit reviewed the beam calculations. It had determined that the ceiling was insufficiently optimistic. It spent Tuesday reinforcing the rafters…

The duck had been auditing the supply closet for fourteen years. Every paperclip was logged; every staple inspected. Today, it discovered a…

Harold found the bird on his doorstep. It did not sing; it emitted a sound of extreme cheerfulness that vibrated the glass…

The magpie waited for a sign. It had spent three years observing the horizon from the sill, certain that a celestial event…