Unserious postmodern paintings.

The curators spent three years searching for the most mediocre antelope in the region. They measured coat density, ear angle, and hoof…

The saiga waited for clerk number four. It had been there since Tuesday, clutching ticket number 412. The fluorescent light hummed a…

The goldcrest had been promoted after the previous hero retired to a seed jar. He spent his days standing on the stool,…

The procedure was optional but recommended. Now the bonobo cannot move his fingers or blink fully. He watches the receptionist eat a…

Arthur argued with the thermostat for forty minutes. He decided the temperature was acceptable, though not ideal. He put on his cardigan.…

Arthur spent three years documenting the sea urchin. He recorded its lack of movement every Tuesday at precisely noon. He believed it…

Gregory the weevil had read every book on existentialism in the breakroom. When the manager asked why the quarterly reports were missing,…

The accountant decided to preserve the pitta after it flew into the break room and died on the coffee machine. He used…

Arthur bought the sheep because the price was impossible to ignore. He placed it in his cubicle to save on heating costs,…

Gerald reviewed the calculations for the third time. The load-bearing capacity of the kelp forest was insufficient for the proposed coral expansion,…

Arthur spent fourteen hours refreshing the same thread. He had forgotten how to preen. His talons cramped around the device. A notification…

The chachalaca had decided that stillness was the only rational response to the lack of airflow. It watched the dust motes hover…