Unserious postmodern paintings.

The widowbird had been waiting for the kettle to whistle for seventeen minutes, though it had long since stopped. It did not…

The oryx had been waiting for the astronomical event for seventeen years, though it had forgotten what it was. Each morning it…

The tortoise had been mildly haunted for seventeen years, ever since the previous owner forgot to feed it and left the attic…

The ermine had been promised enlightenment through celestial observation, but after three weeks of adjusting lenses and charting empty skies, it concluded…

The kudu had been told, in a dream whispered by a malfunctioning vending machine, that salvation came not through sermons but through…

The tinamou had been promoted to Junior Clerk of Avian Permits three weeks prior, a position it accepted without enthusiasm but with…

The clam had been mildly haunted for precisely seventeen years, ever since the retired librarian who owned it muttered an apology to…

The coot had been promoted to Junior Clerk after three years of silent attendance at morning briefings, though no one remembered assigning…

The bear had been told, repeatedly and politely, that it was radiantly average — not remarkable enough to be exhibited, not deficient…

The lemming had come to return the sugar it borrowed three Tuesdays ago, but found the house empty and the clock stopped…

The raccoon had been invited to the tea party by mistake, but having arrived, it refused to leave until properly attired. It…

The hummingbird had been late once, in 2017, and the universe had not forgiven it. Since then, it arrived at every appointed…