Unserious postmodern paintings.

The buzzard had been waiting for the toast to cool since 3:17 p.m., though it had not moved since the clock struck…

Reginald Finch, third baronet of Avian Etiquette, had insisted on dressing for tea despite being alone and, frankly, a bird. The monocle…

The bird had been singing when the heat began, not from the sun but from the wallpaper, which had been slowly fermenting…

The anchovy had sworn off confrontation after the Great Tuna Incident of '09, yet here it was, suspended in bureaucratic limbo, paralyzed…

The civet had been promoted three times in six months, each rise accompanied by a new corporate wellness initiative it ignored. Now,…

The bushbuck had been waiting for the painting to arrive for three days. It had been told the painting would depict it,…

The monkey had been promoted after the last reorganization, though no one could recall voting for it. It arrived every morning at…

The robin had been waiting for the vent to open for three days. It had read the sign outside — 'Ventilation: Temporarily…

The okapi had been laminated on a Tuesday, not for preservation but because the museum’s new intern misread the memo: ‘Laminate the…

The colugo had been there for three days, or possibly four—time blurred in the still air thick with the scent of old…

The oropendola had earned seven doctorates in avian behavioral economics, yet still found itself filing TPS reports for the Department of Nest…

The serval had expected the Earl to return with the rare Tanzanian honey he promised, but instead found only a note tucked…