Unserious postmodern paintings.

The brambling had arrived at 7:03 a.m. every day for 1,462 consecutive mornings, neither early nor late, a fact it had verified…

The whale had been scheduled for a brief appearance at 3:00 p.m., as per the lease agreement with the tenant above. It…

The skink had been provisionally declared heroic by the Attic Committee of Minor Vertebrates after it refused to flee when the vacuum…

The binturong had been prophesied to appear only during off-peak laundry hours, when the spin cycle hummed like a lullaby and the…

The titmouse had been haunting the attic for three weeks, not with moans or cold spots, but by repeatedly knocking over the…

The pika had been waiting for its permit since Tuesday. It had filled out Form 7B in triplicate, signed with a claw,…

The woodlark had been waiting for the 3:15 p.m. memo about updated stapler allocation since Tuesday. It did not sing. It did…

The wombat had been promoted to Senior Adjustment Officer after three years of flawless burrow-based data smoothing. Today, it presented its findings…

The harrier had been legally distinct for exactly seventeen minutes when the HR representative entered, paused, and asked if it had filed…

The bass had been invited to brunch by the neighbor’s cat, who insisted on formalities. It arrived early, polished its scales, and…

The smew had been told, by a passing heron with questionable authority, that sincerity was a virtue worth cultivating. It had taken…

The bananaquit had retired from competitive nectar-sipping three years prior, though it still attended the monthly guild meetings out of habit. Today,…