Unserious postmodern paintings.

The barnacle had been there since Tuesday, or perhaps since the Cretaceous—it never bothered to keep track. It watched the tea grow…

The damselfly had been promised a rendezvous with a reed that never showed. It waited. Then it waited longer. Now, suspended above…

The avocet had been laminated not for preservation, but because the museum intern misread the label 'Do Not Touch' as 'Do Not…

The fulmar had been waiting for the leak to stop. It had not moved in three hours, not because it was injured,…

The takahe had been dead for three weeks, though no one had noticed until the teacup began to refill itself every Tuesday…

The teal filing cabinet had been there since before anyone remembered why it was teal, or why it was filed at all.…

The chipmunk had been waiting for the teacup to cool for exactly seventeen minutes, as per the note tucked beneath the saucer…

The ant had been translucent for three days, a condition it neither understood nor complained about. It continued its route along the…

The scaup had been told, quite firmly, that it was out of season. Not metaphorically. Literally. The calendar said so. It had…

Every morning at 6:03 a.m., the guillemot arrived at the windowsill, adjusted its feathers with the precision of a railway clerk, and…

The ocelot had decided, after three years of unsuccessful ambition, that mediocrity was a sustainable career path. It now devoted its energies…

The merganser had been waiting for the bus that never came, though it had never intended to take one. It had read…